My Rainbow Baby

I'm excited to announce that Jackson Mitchell has an official due date of Tuesday, August 27th. My real due date was scheduled for September 12th, but my doctor thinks it is best to induce me a couple of weeks early to avoid any complications or issues like we had with Maddie. I'm all for it because it means I don't have to be pregnant as long and I get to meet my little guy sooner. We had another sonogram yesterday to check everything from Jackson's growth to fluid levels to placenta placement and umbilical cord flow. Everything is looking amazing so far and Jackson is already 5 lbs. 1 oz.! He is currently in the 75th% for weight, but luckily he is only in the 50th% for head size...hopefully it stays that way ;-). I am so thrilled for this Rainbow Baby and the days can't go by quickly enough.

That being said, we are nearing Madeline's birthday...it will be 1 year that we lost Maddie on August 14th. I can hardly believe it has been a whole year since my world came crumbling down around me. This year has been a constant roller coaster of emotions and I'm just glad we are almost through it. I know that Jackson won't be able to replace my Maddie, but I am hopeful that having him will help ease the pain just a little. If I have learned anything from this experience, it is to hold those you love extremely close to you and cherish every moment with them. Life here on earth is but a brief moment in the grand scheme of things. It makes me sad to think about leaving my children here on earth in the future, but I know I will be reunited with Maddie and others that I love so dearly.

Lately I have been feeling a little bit guilty because I feel like I have been so focused on James and Jackson that I have forgotten about Maddie. Of course I haven't actually forgotten about her, but part of me tries not to think about her and focus on the here and now because I don't want to hurt anymore. We just recently put away her clothes and bedding and other items I had bought for her, but I have yet to change the nursery or even take down the little sign I made for her door that says "Maddie's Room". I just can't bring myself to do it. I know I'll have to do it soon enough once Jackson is here, but I'll probably put it off as long as I can. Maybe once he's here I can come to terms with it even more, but only time will tell. I recently found a quote on another baby-loss mother's blog and it helps put things in perspective for me:

"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

I look forward to holding my Rainbow baby soon and celebrating my little girls birthday. Maddie, you will always be in my heart sweet baby girl.

Flying L Ranch Weekend

This past weekend we headed up the Flying L Ranch outside of Bandera for one of James' dear friends McKay's birthday. It is a wonderful dude ranch where you can enjoy their mini-water park, western entertainment, like a champion roper, and down-home country cooking. We had a great time with our good friends the Byrds and look forward to heading back there next year.

McKay and her friend Ashley (and James of course) who was there to celebrate her 10th birthday with McKay for the weekend

The Champion Roper

My crazy boy enjoying the show

James going down the big slide, his favorite activity there

The pretty birthday girl, McKay

James and McKay waiting for the giant bucket to dump water on them

All the kiddos in our group for the weekend minus the baby twin boys

McKay and James ready for the tractor ride to the "ghost town"

James all dressed up as a cowboy

James and McKay dressed up

Making s'mores after our BBQ dinner in ghost town

Mmmmmm S'mores

Jackson Mitchell

Just yesterday we went and got a 3d/4d sonogram done on Jackson. I had never done one of these for my previous pregnancies and decided I wanted to do one this time. I'm really glad that I did because we got some really good pictures of our little guy and it makes me even more excited to meet him. I am amazed at how much he looks like James, although I'm quite sure he will have a completely unique personality (hopefully a little more low-key than James). He wasn't exactly being cooperative during our photo session, but we were able to get some decent shots. I was surprised to find out that he was pretty much folded in half with is legs up around his head and face. Not sure how that is comfortable, but I guess you do what you can when you have limited room :-). Well, here are just a few of the better shots we got:

look at that cute little button nose

Making a little smirk here

my favorite

Big yawn! (that's his hand by his face)

4th of July Celebration

I almost forgot to make a post about our 4th of July celebration. We had a very laid back 4th of July with a simple swimming party at my parents home. We chowed down on sausage, hot dogs, watermelon and various sides provided by guests. Even though I couldn't have any, I even made a yummy white sangria with strawberries, blueberries and apples cut into little stars for the red, white and blue theme. It turned out really good and I wish I had taken a picture because the little apples stars were super cute. I'll definitely be making it again. Overall it was a very enjoyable, laid back 4th of July.

James and Tommy taking a drink break

James and Tommy enjoying the pool

Some of the party people chowing down

James in the pool with is friends Logan and Embry in the background 

Party people hanging out in the pool

My niece Louisa about to jump off the diving board (she's not even 2!)

Right after she jumped off (I missed the mid-jumping shot)

Aunt Mel, Louisa and Mike

4th of July Weekend

Over this past 4th of July weekend we were lucky enough to have Mike's brother, his wife and their two kids come down to visit. We had yet to meet baby Jack, who is 7 months old, so it was great to see them and meet that adorable little baby. James also had a wonderful time with his cousin Tommy who is 3 going on 4. I think the best way to chronicle the weekend is through pictures so here you go!

On Friday we headed down to the Children's Museum

James and Mommy

James shopping in the HEB play center 

James building with the large blocks

James, Daddy and Tommy on the gondola

James making his extra large bubble

After the museum we headed to the Riverwalk for lunch

The kids loved driving around the backyard at night

My silly boy

Great shot of the boys on the tire swing

My super adorable nephew, Jack

Crazy boys trying to drive over Mike's gravel pile

Mike with Jack (love this picture!)

4th of July Parade @ School

This year I was unable to attend James' school 4th of July parade because I had a doctor appointment, but luckily our good friend Joe took some pictures for us. Here's some pictures from the parade:

My cutie all ready for the parade

Parading around

James with his buddies

He's so patriotic :-)