Maddie's Birthday

As stated in my previous post, it has been one year since we lost our Madeline. I wanted to do something to honor her on her one year heavenly birthday, but I wasn't sure what to do. Unfortunately Mike was out of town for business on her actual birthday (August 14th) so we celebrated together on the 15th. We all spent the afternoon together and visited Maddie's grave with presents and balloons in tow. James picked everything out for her, from the little stuffed animal he got her to the flowers and balloons. We each wrote a special note for her on one of the balloons. Here are some photos from our special day:

James placing the angel statuette on Maddie's grave 

Me with my babies

James' note to Maddie

He loves his little sister

Happy Birthday My Precious Maddie

It has been a year today that we lost our sweet little girl, Madeline Diann. We had so many hopes and dreams for her and it's still sometimes surreal that she isn't here. We are excitedly awaiting the arrival of our little baby boy Jackson in 2 weeks, and I can't help but feel guilty for being excited. With his birth being so close to Maddie's, I feel like it is overshadowing the grief we should be having for her. I know she will always have a special and unique place in our hearts and I know we cannot replace her, but I feel that having Jackson will help us come to terms with her loss better. It's hard to believe that it has been a whole year since my worst nightmare came to fruition, but it proves to me that we can overcome anything that comes our way. With the strength and support of my wonderful friends and family, I know that I can make it through any storm that rears its ugly head at us. To close, I would like to share a poem that I came across that I feel encapsulates exactly what I'm feeling today:

I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry
didn't get a chance to say "Hello"
you never said "Goodbye"
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn.
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Your life was short yet special
I shared it all exclusively
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick.
You were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel
and every angel is divine
God needed one in heaven
He came down and took mine
And although we are not together
we're not really apart
for you'll always occupy a space
deep within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain
It's only some days now I cry.
When I wish I could have said "Hello"
and heard you say "Goodbye"

Happy Birthday beautiful baby girl. We love you more than you will know and can't wait to be hand-in-hand with you one day.

2013 Beach Trip

We just returned from our family beach trip to Port A. I was hesitant to go this year seeing as I'm 35 weeks pregnant, but I decided it would be worth the discomfort in order to see my family have a great time at the beach. I figured I would just relax most of the time and let Mike handle James. It was a little tougher on me than I expected, but we still had a great time. My sister-in-law and our niece Louisa joined us for the first couple of days, which was nice because James just adores his little cousin. We were also lucky enough to have our trip overlap with some of our dear friends, the Byrd family, so James had his little buddy McKay there to play with. The first day we met up with them in Corpus to have lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, The Waterstreet Oyster Bar and then took in the Texas State Aquarium. We took James there a couple of years ago and he wasn't quite old enough to really appreciate and enjoy it, but this year was much better.

James, McKay and Louisa after lunch

James and McKay checking out the sting rays

My crazy little boy

Checking out some fish

Shark!

James and McKay checking out some really pretty fish

Beautiful sea turtles

James and McKay...BFFs

Checking out the dolphins

After the aquarium we headed out to the island to check into our condo and settle in. We spent the evening swimming with the Byrds at their pool and they even treated us to a delicious shrimp and crab boil. The rest of the trip we enjoyed the beach as much as possible and even headed into town for a day for some shopping and arts and crafts (we painted pottery). We had an absolute blast and I was so happy that the Byrd family and my sister-in-law and niece were there to spend the time with us. I was thrilled that James was really comfortable playing out in the waves and he loved boogie boarding. We had a hard time getting him out of the water every day. The only really eventful day was our last day there. We went to the beach for one last time with the Byrds before we hit the road. Poor Dana was walking out into the surf with the kids and had the bad luck to step on a sting ray and got the barb through her toe. We learned something new that day. You are supposed to submerge your injury in hot water if stung by a sting ray. It eases the pain and helps to draw out the venom. Luckily she was fine and luckily it didn't happen to one of the kids. Surprisingly James wasn't even phased by the incident and wanted to head right back into the water. I apprehensively allowed him back in, but made sure he shuffled his feet from then on. Although the heat and humidity made me swell up like a balloon, I had a great time and really look forward to heading back next year.

My little man

The men in my life

James and Daddy flying his Spiderman kite

Little Louisa loved playing in the sand

Mr. Cool, James

James riding a wave in

James in front of his castle wall (I guess this is his new pose)

James and McKay in the shark mouth in town

James painting his pirate mug (it turned out awesome!)

Gotta go to the candy store while in town

James and McKay playing in the sand

McKay, Dana and my feet...can you pick my giant preggo feet out ;-)

McKay and James' kites

Just chilling

Beach trip 2013...that's a wrap!